Confessions Part 1...

These are my confessions. Just when I thought I said all I could say....WAIT!!! I think that's a song or something. : P Ok, I really do gots to confess something. I'm having a very, VERY difficult time quitting the Coke zero and sweet tea (the latter is a different story all together). There I said it, please do not cast your stones at me. I'm realizing just how addicted I am to carbonated beverages. This roundhouse kicked me in the face due to my actions the other night. Picture it Ruston, 2:30 am, I had no carbonation in the house, so I grabbed my keys got in my g-ride, and drove the 5 or so miles to a convenience store and purchased 3 twenty oz. coke zeros. As soon as I got home and downed one of those preciouses, everything was right in my world. I realized, I have a problem. I see why it wasn't so difficult to quit the real stuff; I had a substitute of sorts. It's almost like I'm going to have to lock myself in a padded room for 48 hours and experience the shakes, hallucinations, and whatever else may come with it. UGH!!! THIS IS HARD!!! I right now have a huge goal that I'm wanting (and needing) to work towards and I am being thwarted by...well...ME!! I have decided that my feelings can be best expressed by the ever mentally unstable (nothing but love M.) Ms. Mariah Carey in her collaboratory hit "Heartbreaker" with the youthfully retired Jay-Z. "Ooh your love's so good, I don't wanna let go. Even though I should I can't leave you alone, cause you're so disarming, I'm caught up in the midst of you and I, can not resist. ...Heartbreaker you've got the best of me, but I just keep on coming back obsessively. Oh why did you have to run your game on me, I should of known right from the start You'd go and break my heart." (I do believe that sums it up pretty well, thank you Ms. Carey and Mr. Z for your help.) Thanks to those of you who have given me words of encouragement and I would ask for your continued support. If anybody has any tricks or anything that has worked in the past for you, please pass that along. However, I need you to keep in mind: I'm dispatching now and I am working 12 hour shifts, I may not be able to be relieved when I may need to go (if you know what I mean). My bathroom breaks are super sporadic, so that makes me very nervous about drinking alot of water (which I know is what I need). So....there you go. Thank you, again, for the support.

If loving you is wrong...I don't wanna be right, but I should strongly consider it!

As some of you may, or may not know, I have been off the sauce (real cokes and dr.peppers) for 39 days, 10 hours, and 32 minutes (who's counting). It truly has not been that bad, in fact it's been a fairly easy transition for me. This transition would not have been so easy without the help of Coke zero. I have been drinking those things up like none of your business. However, I was reading in the latest issue of Fitness magazine the other day, when I came across this article: "21 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR DIET WORK 100% EASIER". Well, I thought to myself, "I'm all about easier, anyday." So I turn the page (since the title took all of pg. 93) and lo and behold what does #1 say to do: "SAY SO LONG TO SODA". Now, I'm starting to pat myself on the back and be really proud of myself, until......I read the rest of the article. This is the statement as written on page 94: "Every diet soft drink consumed each day could increase your risk of being overweight by 65 percent, according to a study presented at the American Dietetic Association. Other research suggests that artificial sweeteners may actually stimulate appetite, causing you to overeat. Instead, sip plain or sparkling water with lemon added for flavor." (all italics and bold added by moi) It was upon reading this that I had to face some hard truths. That in order to achieve my goal of weight loss and fitness (that I'm wanting) I have to say goodbye to a dear, dear friend. Oh Coke zero and Diet Dr. Pepper with your fizzy carbonated, artificially sweetened goodness, I love you but I must let...you...go. Oh this is tearing out my heart, but I must be strong. My feelings can only be expressed through the words of a beautiful song, sung by the ever canadian Celine Dion : "Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you, that is how I know you go on. Far across the distance and spaces between us, You have come to show you go on. Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on, Once more you open the door, And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on. Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime, and never let go till we're gone. Love was when I loved you, One true time I hold to. In my life we'll always go on." Oh Coke, Dr. Pepper and all sugary (and now artificially) sweetened carbonated beverages, I love you but I've got to let you go. Just know that wherever you are, my heart will go on and I will always love you. "And I ee I will always love you ooh ooh".... Ok, I'll stop now.

I'll Never be a Part of a Dancing Ministry!!!

Disclaimer: Let it be known that I am no way sitting in judgement or saying anything about any person in making this post. This is just my personal conviction and basically, this is how I roll.

I have to confess something to everyone....I went to a club this weekend. No, I'm not talking about The Girl Scouts or Math club. I went to a club, club. You know, "we gon tear da club up", type of club. I readily admit that at the age of 27, I have never before gone to a club, nor have I ever, EVER, wanted to. I know there are those people who can't wait to turn 21 so that they can legally go to a club or bar. I was not one of those. However, I did want to purchase alcohol when I turned 21 and I didn't even get carded the first time I tried (I was totally bummed!) I digress. I went with some friends who wanted to dance, and I told them I would go but I don't dance (so don't ask). I was completely fine with going and watching them dance (although I don't think they believed me), and I did watch lots of moronic people whose spiritual gifts did not include dancing. It was sitting there in this club, in the "hip-hop" room of this club, that I realized what I have been missing all these years by not going to the club. I know your all dying to know what that is, well......I'll tell you. What I've missed, by not going to clubs in my entire legal life is, nothing. Not a single, solitary thing. Sure, maybe I've missed some disturbing images that can only be removed via a total frontal labotomy...enough second hand smoke to give a herd of cattle lung cancer....being hit on by creepy guys in there fifties. Those things may appeal to some people, but not me. I know some people just like to go dance, to let loose and shake their respective "groove thangs", but that is not me. I know my limitations, what I can do, what I can not do, and what I should NEVER do...dancing happens to fall under the latter. I say all of this to say: If we're hanging out and everyone wants to go to the club...I'll stay and watch the car, and be more than happy to do so.