WARNING: This is not a happy post!

Ok I've been reprimanded by Megchael (go with it, it's working for all hollywood power couples ie: Brangelina) and Mrs. Kathy (who can resist the prompting of Mrs. Kathy, really?) about the laziness of the posting. I wish I had some great, fun, and exciting something to post but...I don't. In fact, if I had posted how I'd truly been feeling over the past couple of weeks ya'll would have to take an antidepressant to read it. I've just been very down in the dumps lately. I am not particularly enjoying living alone at the moment and it's killing me not having friends (here, near me I mean). The one close friend I do have in Ruston hasn't spoken to me in a couple of months (my fault) and the relationships I have at the lambright, are with younger college kids who have their own lives and things they like doing. Although going to the q-stick or to keggers is loads of fun to them it's not to me. I've been told that I need to put myself "out there" more, what does that mean. For some that I've spoken to, that means clubs and bars. Now, I've never ever been one for going to either of those places for a couple of reasons, 1. Getting drunk in a public forum or being around drunk people has never been a huge highlight of my life. 2. I don't have mad dancing skills and so shaking my groove thang in a public forum is a huge no, no. Now, on the christian front what does that mean, to put myself out there more? Well I've discovered for the big metropolis of Ruston it means.................well...................................................................................hmmmm.......
....................I know there's something.........................................Oh, there's the frothy monkey and crescent city......................................................
.then there's.......................................................................... ummmmmmmmm.......................................................................................wait a minute........................ ...................................railroad park, I guess I could watch a train with somebody............of course there's ............
............................................ well........................................................ Ok, you catch my drift. I just hate feeling so stikin' alone. I hate coming home to an empty house, it makes me almost miss living in the trailer off of hwy 80 (and for those of you who knew what that was like, you understand the desperation I must be feeling to miss that!) Maybe at some point while I was growing up, I prayed that I could be by myself (growing up in a 960 sq. ft. home with 5 other people and sharing a bedroom until my senior year of high school, who wouldn't?) or maybe I'm being punished for the hwy 80 trailer escapades (which I deserve). Who knows? All I know is I'm sad and alone and I don't like it. Any words or thoughts?

True Life lessons from... Spongebob Squarepants!?!

Ok, so I admit it. I'm really just a big kid. I never stopped watching cartoons; in fact, I love watching cartoons. You don't have to think too much or get into some deep plot line, just turn em on and laugh or zone out (it is purely the viewers choice). However, as silly as they may be, you can learn some great life lessons and even (dare I say it) apply some biblical teaching as well. Hey, if some people could find the story of Jesus in the Matrix then I can find it in Spongebob Squarepants, don't judge me! Now, on with the lesson!!! In one particular episode of S.S. , Spongebob and Patrick learn about borrowing. However, they are taught this lesson by Mr. Krabs, and Mr. Krabs doesn't necessarily do all things, how you say, by the book. In fact when the question of asking someone's permission to borrow an item was mentioned, Mr. Krabs' reply was, "ahh permission schmermission, everyone knows that it's ok as long as it's returned before it's missed." After said lesson from the Krab, sponge and pat then "borrow" a balloon from a street vendor, the balloon pops, they panic, leave town (because we're not talking about bank fraud or some stupid mail scheme, they stole a balloon), turn on each other, and eventually turn themselves in to the cops (because of the guilt), and discover that they stole a balloon on national free balloon day. Oh, this particular episode is full of biblical truth, no really. If you ever watch S.S., you will see that Spongebob is just a very naive, loving, and trusting individual, who basically sees the good in everyone. Patrick is even more naive and very simple... some may even say stupid, but very trusting and innocent (much like a child). Now if you take sponge and pat's nature and mix that with a lie that as a little bit of truth mixed in and you've got trouble. I think most people take the Mr. Krabs approach, he knows he is stealing and yet when confronted with it, he straight out lies and mixes some truth to it so that it doesn't sound bad. I have found that alot of people do that very thing, when caught in the very midst of doing wrong, it's never an absolute wrong. Example: a young man (we'll call him Bob) has joined the army, he's 18 and lives in Louisiana, his buddies throw him a going away party, an of age person has provided the alcohol and gives it to the 18 year old. For those who don't know, LA law states you cannot purchase or consume alcohol until you are 21. With that being said, is Bob breaking the law. If you waivered at all or your answer was no, then you are like Mr. Krabs. For as much as you may not agree with someone who can be shipped off to war and die for our country but can't drink a beer, the law is still the law, and what he did was break the law. Now here's an example of moral right or wrong, that a whole lot of people don't have a problem with. Let's say there is a couple (we'll call them Jack and Diane), who have been dating a year, and are "oh so in love". Now, Jack and Diane, say they love God and read the Bible and believe it and they love Jesus. They decide they want to take it to the next stage, so they move in together. What?!? The Bible is very clear on this issue, ah, but they're in LOVE, and they're gonna get married. Are they wrong? Too many people (I'm including church folk) waiver on this issue, because one of their loved ones is doing this right now. So instead of saying this is wrong... now it's, well...they're gonna get married it's ok. Now, if you put Mr. Krab like people in places of authority or (heaven help us) in church leadership that's when you've really got trouble. How many people are like spongebob and patrick (you know, child like) when it comes to matters of faith? They weren't raised knowing or reading the Bible, or going to a Bible teaching church, but they want to know about it. So they go searching and find a church that teaches, "hey you can live together, no problem, you're homosexual and want to live together, no problem, you have a wife and a girlfriend, no problem. you're a compulsive liar, no problem, you love to "love" little children, NO PROBLEM". "You know why? Cause God is love and God loves you and wants you to be happy". (In essence do what makes you happy) You see the lies mixed with some truth. Yes, God loves us, but he hates sin and a sin, is a sin, is a sin. No one sin is better or worse than the other, they all equally hurt the heart of God. So, one big lesson here is don't be like Mr. Krabs (he's not very honest), and don't be as gullable as Spongebob or Patrick (even though they are very sweet). Measure everything agains the plumb line of God's word and Jesus Christ. Thank You! (and you didn't think I was gonna do it)

Just cause I can...now what?

Blame this on the fact that I miss everyone sooooo much or that I just realize how blessed I am and have been in my life. This is a total shout out page for everyone and anyone who has made an impact on my life. So here I go!

• Mom, Dad, Rickey, Curtis and Denise, and Autumn- We've laughed, we've cried, we've bit (thanks alot Autumn!) We aren't a perfect family, maybe even a little dysfunctional (maybe alot)...I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you guys so much, you mean so much to me.
• Aarin and Amanda- I miss you two sooooo much and I love ya'll more than you could ever know. You two are my sisters, I would go to the ends of the world for you. (Cause that's what Bunneez do!)
• Kalei Morgan- What more can an Aunt say about the greatest niece in the world. You make me smile and my heart happy. You are the best bookah in the world!!!
• Tammymama and Emerson Crew- I know I don't come around like I use to, but I know if I show up today you'd welcome me in the kitchen and say, "fix it yourself terd!" Ya'll have always been so supportive, loving, and real. Thanks for not giving up on me or forgetting me, like you could! : D
• Aunt Waneta and Uncle Jerry, Dean and Jackie, Kylie, Nate, Debbie and Brian, Buster, Boon, and Julia!!! (a.k.a. The Rahmig crew) What can I say but I love you, I love you, I love you. My heart hurts knowing I don't get to see you but once a year and knowing I might not see ya'll this year...ok I'm actually starting to tear up. Just know that, although we are separated by many, many miles you're never far from my heart.
• Aunt Cindy and Uncle Monty, Uncle Gaithel and Aunt Joyce, Erin and Tabitha and kids, Corey and Dawn and kids, and Travis (a.k.a. the rest of my yankee family) - I get to see you guys even less (no good), but you still mean so much to me. I love you all! Maybe ya'll should try Louisiana for a while (I'm sure you're seriously considering it!)
• Memaw, Aunt Wanda and Uncle Gary, Denise and Jamie, Heather, Zachary, April and Bubba, Chloee, Austin, David and Aleida, Chandler, Thomas and Brandi, Bekkah, and Aiden. (a.k.a. the Smith crew) - What can I say? We've grown up together, laughed together, grieved together, eaten together, phase 10'd together and some of us have bathed together (I do believe somebody has a picture or two of that!) Ya'll have helped make me who I am today. I love ya'll.
• Kathy Nelson- What can I say about the most AWESOME woman of God I know!!! I can only imagine the number of crowns that you have in heaven waiting on you. I love seeing the love of God all over you, the passion you have for the Lord and His Word is what draws so many to you. You and Mr. Rick and the girls will always have a special place in my heart.
• Kathy Rowland, Ann Patterson, and Lisa Trussell- Words cannot express what you wonderful women have done in my life. You saved my life and loved me when I couldn't. You walked beside me and refused to let me quit. Lisa, bless your heart, I know you could write a book! : D Kathy you are my rock! Ann, your stubborn love and sensibility, is what I love about you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!
• Jessica B., Beth Ann G., Meg Mitchell, Stacey "Scriber"Scheer, and Amy Shaffner (sorry if spelling's wrong) - Don't be surprised ladies. You were the old school BSU ladies, that I admired. Maybe I didn't tell you then, but I learned so much from ya'll. I even learned (during a mission arlington trip) about submission and lifting up our brothers in Christ. I learned you can be ghetto and a southern belle at the same time (I don't know how you do it Jessica). Never ever doubt the impact that you may have in someone's life by just being who you are. Thanks for being "real" women in my life!
• Michael Sanks - We go back, way back. Thanks for giving me my first rambo, that's a true friend. I am so proud of you, to see what you have gone through, to where you are now. I am so glad that God saved my most favorite friend and blessed him with a beautiful wife and wonderful life. I love you Michael, you're like a brother to me (just one I don't get to visit often).

Ok, when I started I didn't realize how long this was going to be (which is making me so so thankful). Sorry but I'm going to have to cut this short. So be looking for part two.

Would Jesus ever tell me to back that "thang" up?

Disclaimer: By no means, in writing this post, am I saying that I am in any way a moral authority or perfect by any means!! I also readily admit that I am not perfect and know that I make poor choices pretty much daily. Furthermore, I am not attacking this particular organization as a whole, nor can I blame just one person either. Finally, it is with a burdened heart that I write this post, take it or leave it.


Ok, so you all know that I do massages at the Lambright at Tech, and I workout there as well (which you may not have known). Last night I took off from massaging, but I did go to workout at around 7:45. I got done around 9:15, and having been in the cardio room the whole time, I was unaware that an organization at Tech blocked out one of the gyms for a night of skating, which was in full swing by the time I finished working out. I was hanging out at the front desk, swiping cards and chatting with my friend Meg and it was at that time I discovered which organization was sponsoring this shindig. The music was loud, but I really wasn't paying attention to it, for the most part. It wasn't until somebody said, "that's Roll Out". Which is a rap song with not so good language and content. It wasn't until I heard "Back That A** Up", that I finally went in the gym, because the music was so loud and bouncing off the walls I really couldn't tell if the song was edited or not. I went in there to find out if this organization had gotten a dj or if this was totally run by this "ministry". I discovered much to my saddened heart that it was indeed entirely run by them. I was talking with one of the guys there and he truly had a problem with the music being played, but as I looked around it would appear that he was the only one. Yet another guy that I was talking to, and I love this kid, said, "people won't come if all we play is chrisitian music." I thought how sad is that, this would have been a wonderful opportunity to show the world that there is all kinds of different christian music out there and that you can have fun without being lewd, vulgar, or crude. Unfortunately, this ministry went with the flow, in fact, they were no different than any other organization that has rented out the gym for skating events. How sad...how sad! Jessica, Meg and Michael, John and Amy, and all you old schoolers I think you all would have been appalled. I think of the damage that was done, because EVERYONE that came in that night was told, "if you want to skate, the BCM is sponsoring it in the red gym". Now I know nobody was killed or maimed or anything along those lines, it's not physical damage I'm referencing. I thought what if somebody needed to see Jesus last night. What if somebody needed to be encouraged? What if somebody has been wondering, "what's so different about these christians?" Alas, after last night they would have found their answer, which was nothing...nothing at all.
Give me some feed back here, if I'm wrong let me know.

I Have Abs.....Who Knew?

Ok, it's been 8 days, 16 hours, and 10 minutes since my last real Dr. Pepper. Yes I AM counting, for now anyway. : ) So I started working out on tuesday (3-28), thanks to a great, wonderful, sweet, kind, and caring friend by the name of Kate (was that enough props?) I have an organized plan of attack and workout buddy! However, in doing this thing called "working out", I discovered some muscles that I thought had disappeared. You know just vanished over time, due to lack of use. Why, it puts me in the mind of the scripture that states, "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away". Well, I just figured the Lord tooketh away my abs and gaveth me extra cushioning in its place. However, that was not the case. No, they have been hiding, hibernating if you will and when I awakened them, they weren't too happy. They rebelled against me, threatened me, dared me to try another crunch. However they were agreeable to trying a Crunch bar (as sold by Nestle)! Guys, my stomach hurt for three days and I'm not joking!
In all seriousness, the devil has definetly been trying to convince me many times this past week to give up. "It's too hard, what's the point, you'll never reach your goals, blah blah blah". I just had to keep holding on to the promise that, "GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN ME, THAN he THAT IS IN THE WORLD". (note that the reference to the devil got no caps, bold, or italics because that's how small he is!!) That's not to say that my eating has been great, but everyday is a new day. Also, that's not to say whenever I see someone walking by with a real dr. pepper in their hands, I don't think about knocking 'em down and taking the pop (that's a total shout out to my Yankee family, CORNHUSKERS ROCK!!! :D) I know that with God on my side and great, great, great and totally awesome friends with me, I can't fail! Plus, if I give up Iris will beat me up. For those of you who don't know Iris, she's the baddest mamma jamma I know. Thanks Homie!!!!