Confessions Part 1...

These are my confessions. Just when I thought I said all I could say....WAIT!!! I think that's a song or something. : P Ok, I really do gots to confess something. I'm having a very, VERY difficult time quitting the Coke zero and sweet tea (the latter is a different story all together). There I said it, please do not cast your stones at me. I'm realizing just how addicted I am to carbonated beverages. This roundhouse kicked me in the face due to my actions the other night. Picture it Ruston, 2:30 am, I had no carbonation in the house, so I grabbed my keys got in my g-ride, and drove the 5 or so miles to a convenience store and purchased 3 twenty oz. coke zeros. As soon as I got home and downed one of those preciouses, everything was right in my world. I realized, I have a problem. I see why it wasn't so difficult to quit the real stuff; I had a substitute of sorts. It's almost like I'm going to have to lock myself in a padded room for 48 hours and experience the shakes, hallucinations, and whatever else may come with it. UGH!!! THIS IS HARD!!! I right now have a huge goal that I'm wanting (and needing) to work towards and I am being thwarted by...well...ME!! I have decided that my feelings can be best expressed by the ever mentally unstable (nothing but love M.) Ms. Mariah Carey in her collaboratory hit "Heartbreaker" with the youthfully retired Jay-Z. "Ooh your love's so good, I don't wanna let go. Even though I should I can't leave you alone, cause you're so disarming, I'm caught up in the midst of you and I, can not resist. ...Heartbreaker you've got the best of me, but I just keep on coming back obsessively. Oh why did you have to run your game on me, I should of known right from the start You'd go and break my heart." (I do believe that sums it up pretty well, thank you Ms. Carey and Mr. Z for your help.) Thanks to those of you who have given me words of encouragement and I would ask for your continued support. If anybody has any tricks or anything that has worked in the past for you, please pass that along. However, I need you to keep in mind: I'm dispatching now and I am working 12 hour shifts, I may not be able to be relieved when I may need to go (if you know what I mean). My bathroom breaks are super sporadic, so that makes me very nervous about drinking alot of water (which I know is what I need). So....there you go. Thank you, again, for the support.